Harmon Stoltzfus III sat on the couch in the home of Alfred and Annie Beiler between Kinzers and Intercourse. Harmon’s two best friends, Willard and Henry, sat on either side of him. The room was filled with youth and at one end, next to the fireplace, a stocky teenage boy droned on about righteousness and finding one’s purpose in life. Harmon looked about the room. Millie was sitting directly across from him on a yellow futon. She was wearing a blue dress, a white sweater and a white covering with strings attached. Beside her sat Pete. He was scribbling notes on a piece of paper and showing them to Millie and she was snickering occasionally. Beside Millie and Pete, on a folding chair, sat Arvilla Beiler. She was listening intently to what the stocky teenage boy had to say. Occasionally her eyes would wander to the one next to her. Harmon was watching Arvilla out of the corner of his eye. It was slightly difficult because she was sitting slightly to his left and the stocky teenage speaker was sitting to his right. He would look at the stocky teenage speaker, glance down at his bible and turn his head slightly, and then slowly lift his eyes and turn them to his left, giving him a view of the only woman he’d ever loved. He repeated this little exercise 11 times and he really didn’t get any fulfillment from it.

  If there ever was a woman he loved then it was Arvilla. The orange dress she was wearing accented her pale skin and the few dark brown curls which fell across her face. Most of her hair was combed neatly back beneath the white covering, but those curls, oh those curls. The one beside her brought feelings of anger and indignation to the heart of our hero. Karl Weaver, that filthy wretch. The square jaw, the eyes, the confident air by which he held his head. And why shouldn’t he be proud. Wasn’t he smart, good looking, popular and wasn’t he dating the coolest girl in all of Bird-in-Hand and the surrounding areas.

  Harmon looked down again. He couldn’t stand to look at them anymore. I will go insane if I keep looking over there, thought Harmon. His eyes drifted back down to his Bible and then to Willard’s next to him. Willard was scrawling words on a piece of paper. There were a few pictures and messages but the name, Susan, was most prevalent on the page. Willard was writing the name, Susan, in some type of bizarre font when Harmon looked down. He had written it in large letters across the page and now he was drawing shadows behind it and shading it and coloring the shading.

  At the sight of the name, Susan, Harmon’s thoughts were taken back to NBC. Nazareth Bible College had been an interesting chapter in Harmon’s life. He and Willard and Henry had returned from that esteemed institute of Amish Mennonite learning only two weeks before. The time at NBC had started badly for Harmon and then it had gotten worse and then it had gotten better and then it had gotten bad again, but it had ended on quite a high note.  

  Harmon’s thoughts drifted back to the afternoon at Wal-Mart and the ensuing lunch at Sonic. This had been only the beginning of our hero’s rise from the slums of uncoolness to the mountaintops of the cool. In a turn of events which Harmon still didn’t understand, he and his two friends, were from that day forward none as cool in the annuls of NBC. To be cool wasn’t that much different from being uncool, only that the other students looked up to him and didn’t make fun of him anymore. People valued his opinions and included him in their activities. The last week at NBC was quite a ride. Susan and her friends treated Harmon and his friends with the utmost respect and adoration. They talked to them and included them in games and had fun together. Harmon was convinced that Susan liked him as more than a friend. He didn’t know what to do and he didn’t know what steps he should take. Susan was nice enough and pretty but the more Harmon got to know her; the more simple she seemed to be. Harmon wasn’t sure if he wanted her or not and he also wasn’t sure if she wanted him or if she was just trying to break his heart.

  Whatever, thought Harmon one day as he walked out of the boys dorm with Willard and Henry and Mark and a few other cool guys. I really don’t care if she likes me or not. All I know is that I’m only young once and I’m gonna find out today if she likes me. The cool guys met up with the cool girls and started walking down the country road into the woods. A few uncool people watched the cool people go out the driveway and wished they could go along. Two uncool boys followed ten steps behind. They were uninvited and Harmon wondered why they even wanted to go along.

  The walk was invigorating. The cold of the winter had given way to a springlike day. The youth chatted as they walked. They talked about NBC, about some of the teachers, about some of the children who weren’t along and Harmon looked for an opportunity to be alone with Susan. Being alone with a girl was of course forbidden by all NBC standards. Susan seemed to know Harmon’s intentions. She walked close to Harmon throughout the entire journey and when they finally reached the waterfall the girl took matters into her own hands. Susan looked up at the falls in amazement then  looked at Harmon and then  at a small outcropping of rock far above the group. “I’m gonna see if I can find a way up there,” she said pointing at the rock.

  The other girls looked at her with a look of acknowledgement and the boys didn’t seem to hear, except Harmon and Willard. Willard looked at Harmon and Harmon looked at Susan and finally he said he’d go with her. The two children found a path which led them to the rock. They climbed up and sat on the rock. Harmon pretended like he was falling and Susan let out a shrill scream. Harmon laughed, grabbing at a branch and steadying himself. The moment was tense, but it was also loose. The two children sat on the rock and looked at the group below. They were jumping across the creek on rocks and carrying on. A slight wind blew through the trees, rustling the dead leaves and swaying the naked branches. Harmon looked at Susan and said, “This is a nice view.”

  Susan looked at Harmon and replied, “Yeah it’s nice. Don’t fall off now.”

  “I won’t,” replied our hero. “I won’t.

  Susan and Harmon sat there for about 8 minutes making small talk and looking at the waterfall. Finally Susan started looking kind of nervous and Harmon thought, Oh here it comes. Shes gonna tell me she likes me. Susan started, “Harmon I wanted to ask you something.”

  Harmon stopped her. “No, I wanted to ask you something.” 

  Susan looked at him. Her face had a mysterious look about it. “What is it?”

  Harmon delved in, “I was wondering if you like me or am I not reading you right?”

  Susan returned his gaze then she looked down and kicked a rock with her Adidas sneaker. She looked down for a while longer and then she looked up with sorrow across her face and brushing a stray hair back under her covering. “Um, well, Harmon,” she said, “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this.”

  Harmon suddenly felt scared. Had he totally misjudged this girl? “Do what?” he asked.

  “Well,” she said, “I wasn’t gonna ask you if you liked me. I was gonna ask you if you think there’s any chance Willard might like me.” Cuz I, um.”

  She didn’t have to say it but Harmon knew it. He’d been totally fooled. His face was hot and his heart hurt. It felt as if someone had hit him across the chin. This horrible vicious vixen had been leading him on all along in hopes that his friend would see it and become jealous. How can I save face, he thought, I only asked if she liked me. I didn’t tell her I liked her but in asking her that question I’m basically saying I like her.

  Once again in his darkest hour, Harmon Stoltzfus III rose to the occasion, threw off the shackles of embarrassment and said, “Well that’s funny.” You see the reason I was asking you if you like me is because Willard actually was wondering if you like him and he told me to ask you if you like him and that’s why I asked if you like me cuz I knew that if you did then you didn’t like Willard so I thought I’d make sure before I tell you that he told me to ask you if you like him.”

  Harmon stopped and looked at Susan. Would she buy it? Susan looked at him for awhile and then a look of relief and excitement spread across her face. “Are you serious!” she exclaimed. “That is so funny!” Here we are both asking you and I don’t even know why were putting you in the middle of this here thing.” Duh, we should’ve just asked each other.”

  Harmon looked at the water crashing onto the rocks below. She’d bought it. He felt bad for lying but he hated her. He thought about pushing her off the rock. Later that day Harmon told his good friend Willard that Susan had the hots for him and Willard mustered up the courage to ask her out. Now they were in a long distance relationship and Harmon was still sitting alone on the couch at Bible Study at the Alfred Beiler home between Kinzers and Intercourse.

  Bible study lasted for awhile longer. A few smart guys engaged in a discussion about finding God’s plan for your life. Harmon thought he should join in because he’d just returned from Bible College. Sylvester was saying something about reading the Bible and praying to find God’s will.

Harmon piped up, “I wish it was that easy.”

“What do you mean,” said the stocky teenage boy who was leading the discussion.

“Well, what I mean,” said Harmon looking down at all the ‘Susans’ scrawled on Willard’s piece of paper, “is that you can pray and read the Bible all you want and still not be sure what God’s will is.” Sometimes I think that I know exactly what God’s will is but He just doesn’t let it happen.”

  “Well,” said Karl, his deep musical voice filling the room, “If you are totally in tune with God and his words then he will give you what you need.” I used to think, before I started working with inner city children that I’m doing God’s will by working with rural children, but then God showed me that I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do and when I finally gave up my work with rural children and allowed God to work through me in the inner city, only then did I feel the blessing of God.”

  Harmon and most of the other youth looked confused but Arvilla looked at her boyfriend with love, understanding, and adoration. He is so smart, she thought, even though I don’t understand half the things he says.

  Willard chimed in, “Sometimes God uses friends to show you his will.”

  Harmon knew what Willard meant by this and shuttered. “Yeah I guess,” he said.

  Then Millie said, “And sometimes people are living totally in God’s will and they choose to go against it for their own selfish desires which make no sense to God or anyone else.” Her round face was reddening and Harmon felt the barb.

  Karl responded, “Yes, sometimes it seems like God’s will is confusing but we are really the ones who are confusing and we only need to stop living for the flesh, take this here word and study it closely and we will then find out what we are doing wrong.” He held his Bible in the air as he said this.

  “But why does it seem like God is totally leading me one way one day and then the next day I’m being led the other way,” Harmon said leaning forward on the couch. “Could it be true that God really doesn’t have one set will. “That our lives aren’t all planned out and that many different ways could be right in the sight of God.”

  “Whatever, it’s all right here,” Karl said, holding up the Bible again.

  “Ok,” said Harmon, “I’m glad some of you have life all figured out.”

  The clock struck nine and the stocky teenage boy said, “Well, looks like we have quite a discussion going but I think we’ll have to pick it up later cuz it’s time to close.” Harmon glared at Karl. Karl looked at Arvilla and she glanced up at him, love pouring from her eyes.

  After Bible Study the youth milled about in the kitchen and living room. Harmon looked around at the youth group. Pete and Millie were in the kitchen. Rumor had it that Pete and Millie were on a one way street to a romantic relationship. Mandy Lapp and Jimmy Peterseim had taken that same street during Harmon’s absence. Everywhere Harmon looked there was love all around. And yet, he had no one.  There’s more to life than dating, he thought, so much more and I’m going to live it to the fullest.

  Harmon went to the kitchen to get some pretzels and cider. He saw Arvilla sitting alone at the table so he went to join her but by the time he got there Karl had arrived.  Before Harmon could even say, “Hi” to Arvilla Karl said, “Hello, Harmon, how are you?” Sounds like you didn’t learn too much at NBC.”

  “Hi Karl,” Harmon said turning to Arvilla, “Hi Arvilla.”

  “Hello Harmon,” she replied, “Don’t let Karl bother you.” How was NBC?”

  “Oh it was good. I had a lot of fun. Got to know a lot of nice people. Grew spiritually. You know. Pretty much how Bible School is.” Two seconds into a conversation with Her and Harmon knew exactly what God’s will was. He should run Karl out of town and then She could be his.

  Karl was sitting there crunching on a pretzel and sipping on a glass of cider. Sylvester sat down beside him and they began discussing the mission with inner city children. Harmon was sitting beside Arvilla and to his right sat Willard and Henry.

  “I think our greatest satisfaction in life comes from service to others,” said Karl. “I have never felt better than when I’m serving those children. “Many of them come from broken homes and they don’t know what love is.”

  Sylvester agreed with him. “Yes I feel it is our responsibility to help others.”

  Harmon tuned them out. He wanted to talk to Arvilla but she seemed to be listening to Karl and Sylvester. She munched on a pretzel. Harmon looked over at her a few times. Willard and Henry were annoying him. They both knew of his undying love for Arvilla so they were making snide comments and snickering. Harmon looked angrily at them and said, “shut up, you idiots.”

  “What’s your plan,” asked Henry quietly.

  “I really don’t have one.” Harmon replied. But he was lying. Our hero had a plan and as he sat there in the Alfred Beiler home between Kinzers and Intercourse, that plan was already beginning to take shape. The wheels were in motion but Harmon wasn't too sure it would work. It wasn't as concrete as the Get Rid of Millie plan had been. But it was there. 
  Harmon got up and left. He steered his escort onto 340, turned up the latest Garment of Praise album and cruised home. He reached the Stoltzfus homestead and went out to the barn. The cows were silent in their stalls, chewing on hay and swishing their tails. Harmon sat down on a bale and began to tell them of all his troubles. The cows continued chewing as if he were not there. A cat came over and rubbed against his leg. He sat there a long time, for this was his home and this is where he felt safe.
(Ilw 4/10/09 to be continued)

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Comments:

Sven Svendsen wrote:                                                                             4/10/2009 11:43 pm
Very perceptive, as usual, with an appropriate dab of cynicism. Now stay on top of things with this story (from a fellow procrastinator)

Roberta wrote:                                                                                       4/12/2009  10:36 pm  
haha harmon is sooo funny he is still as lame as ever!!!! keep it up and dont make us wait soo long again!!!

HBB wrote:                                                                                                                    4/12/2009  8:15 am
So glad to see Harmon resurrected. Now I guess the Beachy Complex should follow suit.
Regards!

Read Our Hero Harmon next week for an Amish Mennonite revival and a good story about Pete.