Old Sports

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Old Sports

Lancaster Lightening Holds Tryout
March 31, 2007 - On Saturday morning 24 young men, old men, and boys convened on Red Rose Indoor Arena west of Lancaster. Most of them had never heard of the place before they learned the Lancaster Lightning, a semi pro football team, was holding tryouts there.
   It was an odd mixture of men. Some were black, 4 were Mennonite and one looked like he was Amish. He had a long, flowing beard, just like an Amishman.
   After signing up for the tryout, they spent the next hour sitting there wondering why they weren't home sleeping. They watched some little kids play soccer on the field where the tryouts were supposed to be held. The kids were about 4 or 5 years old and spent the morning running around kicking soccerballs.
   Finally they started a game and it was evident to the football players that soccer will never be considered a real sport in the United States. The children ran in circles for 20 minutes. Finally the ball went close to the goal and a little girl scored into her own net and no one seemed to care. Then the team had two goalies and they sat there and looked at their parents.
   When the soccer kids were finally done, the football players went onto the field and ran around for awhile. It was soon evident that some of them should have stayed in bed. Some were good. They did a bunch of drills. The 40 yard dash was the most anticipated event. A few boys ran times under 5 seconds. Everyone tried not too laugh when a 300 pound lineman ran down the field.
Then they were told to split up into offense and defense. 19 boys went to the offense and 5 went to defense. It was evident that everyone wanted to be a star receiver. The defensive players grinned because they knew they would surely make the team.
After that everyone stood in a circle and puffed and were told to come to another tryout in two weeks and a few players were told they were on the team. The rest looked dissapointed and went to Bob Evans and ate big hamburgers. (Abe Glick, BIHN Sports)

Amish Boy Arrested
   April 1, 2007 - An Intercourse Amish boy spent a night in jail recently when his emotions got the best of him at a hockey game in Lancaster. According to a source who asked to have her name withheld, the boy was playing in the season finale at the Regency Ice Rink.
     His team had just lost the championship game by a few goals and he started punching a player from the other team. When the referee stepped in the young man took his anger out on him and beat him for awhile. After the punching session the boy was arrested and taken to the Lancaster county prison where he spent the night wondering how he ended up in there with a bunch of drug dealers and wife beaters.
   The boy has been charged with assaulting a referee and has a future court date. His name is being with held because he is Amish. The Incident was used by Amish and Mennonite preachers all over the county as a reason for young men not to play league sports. (Jim Stoltzfus)

Softball Season
   April 20, 2007 - The Gap Softball League is now two weeks into the season. The first two weeks featured a variety of games. Most of the good teams won and the bad teams lost. A few players thought about quitting because their teams were so bad.
   Friday night, April 21 was a nice spring evening. After playing their first game in frigid temperatures, players were happy to be on the field. The night featured games between the Rangers and Outlaws and the Predators and Longhorns. The Outlaws beat the Rangers twice and the Predators and Longhorns split.
   The games were pretty exciting. The Longhorns came from behind to beat the Predators 24-11 after trailing 11-1. Several fans were almost thrown out of the ball park when they decided to heckle the umpire. Sometime soon we will put the standings on here so everyone can see them.
   Intercourse Softball League also began play this week. Our reporters thought it was too cold to go watch the games so we don't know what happened.

Softball Season Is Here
   April 1, 2007 - Now that the snow has melted and the days get longer, the crack of the bat can be heard in local parks and softball fields. Young men from Witmer to Gap are digging through there closets in search of cleats, gloves and bats. After six months of sitting around doing nothing or playing other boring sports, they can't wait to get back on the softball field.
The Gap Softball League, which consists of 12 teams, held its first preseason games this week. Young Amish and Mennonite boys drove to the park with much exitement. Drunk rednecks who play for the Brawlers and Tribe went and made a mockery of the game as they made lots of errors on purpose but still beat the Amish and Mennonite teams.
This year's league features 4 new teams. The general consensus seems to be that anyone can win the championship but the Tribe and Outlaws are the early favorites.
   In Intercourse the teams are also looking forward to a new year. As they arrived for their first practices they were shocked to see someone had burned one of the dugouts.
   The Intercourse League is generally viewed as being better than the Gap League. Most teams who play in Gap dream of someday playing in Intercourse. This year two teams will be joining the Intercourse League from Gap. The Intercourse teams look forward to beating up on them.
   The Gap League will begin official play during the 2nd week in April. They play Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights until mid August.
   The Intercourse League begins two weeks later. They play Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights into early September.
   If you want to enjoy a summer night of softball, Amish, Mennonites, and hotdogs, come to Gap Park or Intercourse Park for some fun and if you'd like to play ball on a team, head down with a bat and glove and a desperate team might sign you. (Abe Glick, BIHN Sports)