5/16/2007 - Since I was banned from the Amish church, I have been visiting many Mennonite churches. There are lots of them around here. I’ve gone to beard churches, beardless churches, beard and mustache churches, and beard or mustache or nothing churches. I’ve been to churches where the women wear cape dresses, weird looking overall dresses, and shirt and skirt dresses. I’ve been to churches where they sing hymns, where they play drums and where they can’t sing at all.

There are so many churches in LancasterCounty I think I could go to a different Mennonite church every Sunday for the rest of my life. They come in all shapes and sizes and they have lots of different customs and traditions, but they are all united in their Mennonitism.

I plan on joining the Amish Mennonites because I haven’t been able to find any other church I like. The other Sunday my family and I went to a church that seemed pretty neat. I thought it was going good but then a woman stood up to preach. That was a little too modern for me so we left.

Another time they played drums and guitars. The congregation stood up and jumped around as they sang. They waved their hands around and I wished I could sing the Lob Leid again.

A while ago a friend of mine invited me to his church. I liked it so I kept going. They were pretty liberal, but I thought it was a neat church. Then I realized they were debating whether it’s necessary to wear a covering. So we quit going there.

The things some Mennonites do make me chuckle. Why the other day I saw a girl walk around with shorts and a covering. Now that looks strange. What is she thinking? Shorts and a covering?

One time we went to the Charity church and we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That is a weird bunch.

Another church we visited consisted mostly of people who used to be Beachy. They left the Beachy church thinking they are better than Beachies. Now the women dress ever so strangely. Their hairstyles are weird, their coverings are funny looking and hardly visible, but they all look like they have the same hairstylist. They also look like they have the same fashion consultant – a weird one at that. I can’t figure out why they don’t just go English if they want to dress like that. The men looked weird too. They wear all kinds of weird clothes – jeans and tee shirts and suits and ties and one boy even wore shorts.

I finally decided that all churches have problems. The Amish church has problems, Beachy Churches have problems, Mennonite churches have problems, and all other churches have problems. The roots of the problems are pretty much the same, but what they argue about differs. Amish argue about steel wheels and rubber tires and more liberal churches argue about divorce and remarriage.

I decided it’s better to go to a plain church. If we can spend our time arguing about the size of our beards, then we won’t have to address such far out issues as accepting homosexuals. I never talked to a gay person. Since I just left the Amish I want to stay pretty plain. Now my job will be to keep my children in my church. As the Amish love to say, “If you go one step your children will go further.” Hopefully that won’t happen.